Category Archives: Uncategorized

Cornell Sophomore Hates Harvard; Would Transfer

ITHACA, NY – Cornell sophomore Jason Conroy reportedly despises Ivy League rival Harvard University with a passion,  however, would unquestionably transfer if granted admission to the prestigious institution. “Harvard? They can suck on my fucking nuts, because they fucking suck,”  but later went on to explain that “If Harvard accepted Read More

Student has that Weird Dream Again

ITHACA, NY- Senior Mike Greensmith woke up at 3:00 am this morning in a cold sweat, confused and flustered by a recurring dream he has experienced over the past month.”It’s the same thing every time,” Greensmith ’14 told CU Nooz, “I’m walking around campus eating this tub of potato salad-I don’t Read More

Student Reprimanded for Recycling Compostable Utensil in Trillium

ITHACA, NY-The 11:00am rush at the Trillium food court is a scene well known to the student body, rife with eager students clamoring to fit a meal into their busy schedules. But this Tuesday,  simple impatience unraveled into environmental catastrophe, when Duncan McMahon ’15 maliciously and intentionally threw his compostable spoon into the Read More