Local Investment Banker-in-the-making Kent Gonzalez allegedly sort of knows what the word “leverage” means.

“It has to do with debt, I know that. And ‘leverage’ sounds like ‘lever’, which you use to balance something, so it’s like balancing the books with debt, right?” says Kent Gonzalez, the student who dreams of one day working for Goldman Sachs or J.P. Morgan. “Or is it more along the lines of weighing the risks of one investment over another, based on debt?”

The local freshmen’s friends say that Kent has been “extremely interested” in banking ever since he watched Oliver Stone’s 1987 classic, Wall Street. He has reportedly been to multiple banking career information sessions on campus since then, which have “reinforced his interest tremendously.”

In  the wake of a recent mishap, Introduction to Wines has been cancelled until further notice. his move follows an incident from last Wednesday’s lecture, in which a disgruntled and inebriated student urinated on Professor Grabenstein’s leg after learning that he failed an exam. The student, whose name has yet to be released, is currently being detained by CUPD