Westchester, NY — After weeks of partying, bar hopping, and procrastination, Junior Daniel Kravitz is looking forward to go back home to be put in check by his parents.

Kravitz says, “I feel like I’ve had all this fun, but life needs balance. I’m looking forward to being lectured by my parents on the ills of underage drinking and laziness – I think it will be interesting to look at my life through a different perspective.”

CUNooz has noted similar phenomena in other students whose weeks have “fun” and “drinking” have left their souls feeling empty. Kravitz says, “I’m just really looking forward to being woken up at 8:00am and told to take out the trash – like my dad always says, ‘It builds character.’”

Kravitz hopes to return to campus rejuvenated for finals week after being “set back on the right track.” He continued, “I’m just a college junior; my mom knows exactly what I’m going through right now and exactly what I need. It’s like she’s in school now and not that she graduated 25 years ago.”

CUNooz wishes Kravitz the best of luck when his parents ask him about his prelim grades, if he has a girlfriend, and whether he wants to be homeless when he graduates.

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