Author Archives: Nooz Staff

SA Election Frontrunner Prepared to Accomplish Absolutely Nothing

ITHACA, NY — In a statement released this morning, a frontrunner in the Undergraduate Student Assembly’s Fall 2017 Election has declared that they are eager to accomplish absolutely nothing during their time in the position. “I’m just so grateful that the community wants me to take on this exciting, debatably-influential Read More

CU NOOZ’S GUIDE TO FINALS

Can’t remember an equation? Just write it on your hand! When attending a professor’s office hours, come prepared with at least 5 questions and bribes. Use fun mnemonic or religious tricks to remember formulas, like SOCATOA or WWJD Vague or long winded responses usually warrant at least half credit. Tear Read More

Student has that Weird Dream Again

ITHACA, NY- Senior Mike Greensmith woke up at 3:00 am this morning in a cold sweat, confused and flustered by a recurring dream he has experienced over the past month.”It’s the same thing every time,” Greensmith ’14 told CU Nooz, “I’m walking around campus eating this tub of potato salad-I don’t Read More