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CU NOOZ’S GUIDE TO FINALS

Sledders head back up libe slope after runs on their objects of choice.

Can’t remember an equation? Just write it on your hand! When attending a professor’s office hours, come prepared with at least 5 questions and bribes. Use fun mnemonic or religious tricks to remember formulas, like SOCATOA or WWJD Vague or long winded responses usually warrant at least half credit. Tear Read More

Cornell Sophomore Hates Harvard; Would Transfer

Harvard

ITHACA, NY – Cornell sophomore Jason Conroy reportedly despises Ivy League rival Harvard University with a passion,  however, would unquestionably transfer if granted admission to the prestigious institution. “Harvard? They can suck on my fucking nuts, because they fucking suck,”  but later went on to explain that “If Harvard accepted Read More

Student has that Weird Dream Again

sleep

ITHACA, NY- Senior Mike Greensmith woke up at 3:00 am this morning in a cold sweat, confused and flustered by a recurring dream he has experienced over the past month.”It’s the same thing every time,” Greensmith ’14 told CU Nooz, “I’m walking around campus eating this tub of potato salad-I don’t Read More