December 5, 2013

Student Reprimanded for Recycling Compostable Utensil in Trillium

ITHACA, NY-The 11:00am rush at the Trillium food court is a scene well known to the student body, rife with eager students clamoring to fit a meal into their busy schedules. But this Tuesday,  simple impatience unraveled into environmental catastrophe, when Duncan McMahon ’15 maliciously and intentionally threw his compostable spoon into the recycling bin with the rest of his yogurt parfait.

Eyewitnesses watched as McMahon committed this unforgivable crime against Mother Earth, ignoring the screams and yells of “Don’t do it!” and “Oh, the humanity!” from passersby. In a stress-filled haste (McMahon had recently received a poor grade on his Environmental Science prelim), Duncan heinously dropped the dangling spoon into the blue receptacle instead of the yellow one as shocked and tearful onlookers watched.

McMahon told CU Nooz, “I’m usually pretty good about what I do with my garbage. Normally at lunch I’ll be like everyone else and spend the at least fifteen minutes figuring out which of my plates, plasticware and other containers go in the recycling, compost or landfill bins. But today I just couldn’t take it.”

McMahon awaits legal charges from the EPA and is expected to leave Cornell within the next month out of shame for his actions.

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