German Language Dept to Overtake Polish Dept’s Office Despite Protest from English Dept

Amidst cries of protest, Cornell’s German Language department is set to move into the Polish Language’s department office space. German Language dept. chair Hanz Friedel told CU Nooz that the department “just needs a bit more elbow room” and that there “should be absolutely no cause for alarm.”  While the Polish department has obviously protested the move, the English department vehemently opposes these actions it deems to be “intransigent.” English department chair Giles Bickford told CU Nooz “we think what the German department is doing is absolutely abhorrent;” however, when pressed as to what the English dept. would do, Bickford replied “at the moment, we’re not going to do anything besides voice extreme concern.”

Bickford later explained that part of this concern stemmed from previous actions conducted by the German department. Twenty years ago the German dept attempted to occupy the break room of the Baltic Languages department but was rebuffed by the Russian department. Russian dept. chair Raskov Vilov told Cu Nooz that he was “upset about the German department’s actions in the past,” but would be “more than willing to set past differences aside in [their] common interest of more department space.”  The Swiss Culture department offered no comment, wanting to remain neutral on the matter.

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