Ke$ha $hits In Bleachers After Concert

In the wake of last year’s scandal,  audience members were shocked to find Ke$ha defecating on the bleachers of Barton Hall last evening. In holding the concert on a Sunday night, the Cornell Concert Commission sought to reduce hospital transports and minimize the risk of a repeat incident of the bleacher-shitting that occurred during last year’s Avicii concert.

Cornell Concert Commission President David Anders told CU Nooz that he “explicitly told Ke$ha not to go anywhere near the bleachers, let alone shit in them” and “warned her about past sanitary concerns [we’ve] had during concerts.”

Despite CCC’s disapproval of Ke$ha’s actions, some fans are considering the defecation to be a bold and artistic move by the multi-platinum recording artist. Sophomore Carly Emmet explained to CU Nooz, “If you start taking her too seriously, you’re missing the point. Ke$ha is all about having fun. She sings about binge drinking, wears trashy makeup, and sometimes even shits in bleachers. I mean seriously, lighten up. ”

The glittery sequin-filled mass of fecal matter has since been removed from Barton hall. However, trace amounts of the deposit can still be seen scattered throughout campus.

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