In light of recent cutbacks on campus employees, beloved Oakenshields worker David “Happy Dave” Stravinsky has been asked to take a leave of absence and will be replaced by another, less enthusiastic employee. Happy Dave has worked as a greeter, card-swiper, and rodent exterminator for Okenshilds since 1973 when he graduated from Cornell University. Dave’s replacement, Dave “Just Ok” Davidson is reportedly “not thrilled” to be moving from his original post as a burrito folder at trillium.
Davidson told CU Nooz, “I’ll do the job, just don’t expect me to come in with a smile on my face.”
Davidson continued by explaining that students can expect to receive a gruff greeting and a head nod at best, maybe even an acknowledging grunt if he is in an especially good mood. Happy Dave, meanwhile, has been spotted on Ho Plaza greeting students and passing out neon quarter cards that simply read, “Have a nice day : ) .”