November 7, 2013

Law School Breeds Hyper-Intelligent Horse Lawyers

ITHACA- An inside source has revealed The Cornell Law School has partnered with the Biology Department to breed a herd of specialized “Horse Lawyers”. This information comes at the wake of a recent Law School scandal involving the alleged destruction of over $200K in horse semen.

According to our source, the training of these equine litigators has been rigorous, and so far each foal can now count by stamping their hoof, bow, and whinny on command. Additionally, each horse retains expert knowledge of the US judicial system.

When asked to comment, the Cornell Law School denied the existence of this project completely, saying “The semen was, in fact, destroyed due to contamination. This is definitely not a cover up for an amusing ploy to bring suspender-clad horses into American courtrooms. That’s just an awesome- I mean awful- idea.”

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